Tired of being lost- want to follow God's way,

desire to follow the Bible- yearn to never again stray.

  I've failed myself- God can free me of my sins,

how do I rid myself of the pain I contain within?

   Want to be washed- set myself free,

how do I let it all go Lord- let you fully lead me? 

  I want to dance in the rain,

let the water wash away the hurt I contain.

  Free me from my pain and sorrow,

lead me towards a better tomorrow.

  So tired of failing and tired of crying,

outside I'm happy- inside I'm dying.

   Desires to follow the narrow path and let the Lord lead my life,

want to give up this broad path- find a way to get away from this strife.

  It's illusions of happiness and peace has brought me nothing but

  pain,

I'm covered in failures and hide by shame.

  To fail myself- I've done that many days,

to trust in God- I have to find my inner faith.

  It's hard a lot because I feel so alone,

feelings I harbor- I'm sure God wouldn't condone.

  Trying to understand the Bible so I won't set myself up for more

   failure or pain,

I want to be free from my past and find the trust and faith I know I contain. 

  I want to be free from my sin and sorrow,

I want to live life for a better tomorrow.

  I want God as my Father, glory, and my Lord,

I want to walk this road of life like never before.

  I want to have him lead me and take myself places where I have

  never been,

I want him to free my life from the parts where I have done wrong and sinned.

   I want to teach my boys how to be God fearing fathers one day,

who know how to be a daddy and also knows how to drop to their knees to pray.

  When I bow to my knee,

I have many things I feel compelled to say,

  God, why did all of those terrible things happen to me.

Why, God, is the world like it is today?

  I pray, dear God, make this life easier for me to live in,

I have so many struggles that I encounter day to day.

  Why, God, must I live in a world so utterly full of sin,

Why, dear God, I sullenly pray.

  I have read some scriptures from your Holy Book,

I know from Job 5:18 that you wound but also bind, and injure but also heal.

   God, I'm sorry, but I've just received too many terrible lessons and 

   precious dignity that was took.

God, I come to you in prayer, when I kneel.

  God, I know that you can't answer my prayers directly,

but I know from Psalms 86:6-7 that I should come to you,

  I ask you questions, you show me happiness, it is because of you 

  that my overbearing troubles do flee.

God, I pray, why must my good memories still be few?

  God, I know that you create everyone with the best that you can 

   give,

Why, I ask God, do so many people still turn from you,

  God, I look at this world, and I have to ask myself, "Lord, why must 

   I live?"

God, why can't everyone understand all of the hard work it takes to create miracles as you do?

  God, I know a lot of my questions will not come back with an 

   answer,

I sometimes feel the pain Job did in 16:6 in speaking out my feelings.

  God, I don't see how people who do wrong can not allow their

   conscience to lure,

I want to tell others about you God, but what if I say the wrong things?

  God, please allow me to become stronger in your beliefs and do

  things your way,

allow me, dear God, to do things as you instruct me,

  allow me to teach others of you and let them know what I hear 

   when I pray.

God, I pray, that you would give me the strength to help others see in you the same that I see.

--Wrote 7-6-1999